I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Randomize
