Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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