if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
