I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
