I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
should my penis look like a turkey
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
