The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
