it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
