You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
