called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
