I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he shaved USA in his pubs
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
