i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
