peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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