Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
