put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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