Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she peed on how many people?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
