just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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