woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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