rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
