Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
