am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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