Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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