we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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