watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
