sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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