I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
did you just send me my own nude
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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