Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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