Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
