if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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