Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
