i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I don't think brook has ever known best
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
