Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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