i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
