I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
