lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
