ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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