Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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