A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
