xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
