she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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