Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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