i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
