so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
