I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
