this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
