I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
