Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
