you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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