I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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