Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
