But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
