i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
